6 Steps to Survive Working From Home… With Your Spouse… 24/7!

Words of wisdom (and a lot of trial and error) from your friendly “mom and pop” auto shop.

With the current state of the world with COVID-19, and the new norm of social isolation, many of you are entering the work-from-home lifestyle WITH your spouse/partner having to do the same thing. Whether you have 600 sqft of space to share or 3,000 sqft of space, these are some great tips to try to make the coming days or months bearable and maaaaybe enjoyable!

A little about us: we are a local modern “mom and pop” auto repair facility (meaning it’s just myself and my husband that work here) and we had to dive in head first from having no workplace overlap to spending literally all day every day together. By no means should this be an easy transition for you, so don’t get frustrated if you are on the beginning days of isolation and ready to pull your hair out. 

Step 1:

Designate Separate Work Areas/ Offices

When we first sat down today to write this article we brainstormed what we do that “works” and this was the first one we said in unison. You may be tempted to run to the communal kitchen table or fold out the spare card table in your existing home office, but we believe it is important to designate separate rooms/ areas to conduct business. When we first opened doors, we shared a 10ft x 10 ft area with his computer and my laptop, and within a week we were arguing. With the intimate nature of social isolation, embrace some continued independence. Keep your home office as it is and have one of you head to the kitchen, or set up the card table in the living room. 

Step 2:

Allow each other to keep their workspace how you each see fit.

Like most gals, I enjoy my trips to Target and buy the cute notepads and binders, and try my best to keep my desk orderly and organized. And like most guys, my husband tries to find every cord possible and just lay them out for the world to see, and has a desk full of crumbled stickie notes that don’t even make sense, and his latest freebie knick knacks. Now, I could easily tell him his dust collectors are indeed dust collectors, and that his notes looks like garbage and by the way shouldn’t you write a bit neater? And he could tell me that my notepads are a waste of money and try and *help* me with my charging cables by adding extension cord number 3 across the room because its “practical.” See where I’m going with this? Let each other maintain their “workspace normalcy” during this very abnormal time. 

Step 3:

Learn each other’s Workplace Mode and Social Interaction Style.

This one is a big one and the biggest source of our arguments. As a couple, you hear every day all day that communication is crucial to the success of your relationship. How you socially interact at work may be far different than how your partner interacts. AND it may be very different to how you both interact with each other outside of work. I believe we all have a work mode and play mode and a work self and play self.

 As an example: Jeff, my husband, loves aimless chatter while he works on repairing vehicles so he can stay focused on work while also not feeling isolated. I took his chatter as we can have discussions while he works as well. Nope. There is a difference. Once I learned he appreciated more lighthearted quick conversations during work and to keep the bigger discussions to when he could devote more attention it lead to better outcomes. I am the multi-tasking type where I would rather keep working and be answering phone calls while checking inventory while also making a to-do list… and I like to work fast. Before Jeff realized this is just his wife in work mode, he misunderstood my working fast for being stressed and frantic and my multi-tasking for being overwhelmed. 

Maybe you are very serious at work, and your spouse may interpret that as you are angry with them. Or maybe your spouse seems like they are tuning you out, but they just can’t handle distractions. Learn and observe each other’s work mode and don’t be afraid to let each other know how you like to socialize during work hours. 

Step 4:

Implement Work Hours with a Grace Period.

Working from home has its many advantages but the biggest disadvantage is how time passes too quickly due to interruptions. Many people who start to work from home seem to say, “Gosh I was going to finish that client report, but then the mail lady came by earlier so i had to run my letter out to her and then my child decided he didn’t want to nap for a half hour and then my dog threw up, and now I’m an hour behind.” This is your new reality so adjust your schedule accordingly. This prevents tempers from flaring too or blaming each other for falling behind. 

Because it’s just us two running our repair facility we do not have extra hands to step in when distractions happen and they do, so we learned to schedule our day to give us the advantage to NOT fall behind. If you think a task or project takes  you 40 minutes to complete, give yourself the full hour on your daily schedule. Or give yourself an extra break in the day that you can use up if needed if you fall behind, so you are always capable of finishing your day strong. 

It is crucial to create a schedule for yourself. I see all over the internet parents trying to figure out how to give your kids a schedule to keep them stimulated if they are stuck at home, but don’t forget yourself. Try your best to not wing each day, but give yourself time slots to balance work, play, chores, and relaxation. And maybe its best if possible to stagger your work schedules so you can divide and conquer. Jeff is in the shop while I’m in the office, and I do my shop chores while Jeff is catching up on paperwork in the office. This not only helps with separate work spaces listed above, it also keeps us from interrupting or distracting each other. 

Step 5

Take Breaks Together

One area I suggest you align is your break schedule. Take breaks together, whether its the two of you or your pet or your children. Allow each other to just enjoy relaxation together and be a family and be the couple you were before you had responsibility. It seems like life is slowing down for the current time and take the extra time we all have to get some fresh air, laugh, and play. Don’t discuss work during this time unless you want to, but try to leave work at your “workplace.”

Step 6:

Hug it out!

Don’t roll your eyes yet! It works. Jeff was the one to suggest this addition to our list and I rolled my eyes, but he’s right. It does work. We all love our partner right? Sometimes after a day of trial and error and bickering all day, you just need to let out a big sigh, shake it off, and embrace each other. Exchange those feel good hormones and give each other a big hug after a hard day. Things are hard. And stressful. And it’s okay. We all need a hug right now, so don’t forget your partner. One last thing that fits here: apologize. Pick your battles, and during this stressful time, just allow yourself to apologize when needed. 

Extra Credit:

Learn Your Love Language Together!

Have you heard about the 5 Love Languages? In the most basic explanation of the theory: Gifts (“Here is a surprise gift”), Words of Affirmation (“Thank you for taking good care of us”), Acts of Service (“ I cooked your favorite meal tonight”), Quality Time (Going for a walk together), and Physical Touch (Hugging it out!) are all primary “languages” we all speak and enjoy the most in relationships, and we generally favor one over another. If you haven’t considered looking into this, we suggest you do! If anything, it's a fun activity since we are all cooped up these days. We had learned our love languages (Jeff’s is Quality Time and mine is Words of Affirmation) years ago, but when we started working alongside each other it was important to reevaluate our love languages and brush up on ways to “speak” each other’s language. To learn more about this head to the 5 Love Languages website here, or order the book online. 

Working from home isn’t a death sentence and being alongside with your partner can be an enjoyable bonding experience if done right. We don’t claim to know it all and we definitely have our days where all of this goes out the window, but we have survived 24/7 togetherness thus far and hope to continue to do so.

Want to learn more about our “mom and pop” auto repair facility and support our small family?

Explore our website and schedule an appointment for your vehicle!

Call or text us anytime for an appointment or if you need to vent about working from home with your spouse, we can try and help with that too! 

916-767-4120

Buck Family Automotive

7637 Fair Oaks Boulevard 

Suite 1

Carmichael, CA 95608

Open Monday- Friday 8:00am-6:00pm

Saturdays 10:00-6:00

Sundays 12:00-4:00pm